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Archive for June, 2009

Troubled by a friend

June 23rd, 2009 at 09:44 am

I had a friend whom I know for 4 years now and she just graduated from High school. Since I first met her, she changed a lot. Usually people change for the better but she got worse lately.

Her love life is mess up, she dated a 22 or 23 years guy on the internet for 1 year and a half when she was 15 and they slept together whenever they see each other. She ditches him for a Spanish guy she met on the internet around her age and she never listens to anybody but him. She ditches the Spanish guy for a 21 years old guy from a rock band and they recently broke up.

She is 17 at the moment and she did some professional photoshoots where she poses in lingerie or she's naked with only her hair hiding her intimate part. I saw some of them from facebook and it's kinda disturbing to a see a 17 years old with a tiny body posing like that. She's a nice person overall but lately, she has been mess up. A coworker who was a close friend of her said that the last time she saw her, she was wearing belly top, short shorts and heels to go out. She also starts ditching her friends whom she's been hanging out with for years. I don't understand why but her old friends still stick by her side and they let her treat them this way.

I know that she has problems with her parents like me. She does whatever the heck she wants and she comes home very late. She also has been sleeping around lately from what I heard.

Is it still a teen thing? I am confused with her and she's a charismatic person, so I don't understand how she can do all of this. She's also very good in school. She has the rights to do whatever she wants but this is crazy. She said she has no morals and she hates it when someone is giving her the moral (when obviously, we are trying to tell her to be careful). In my opinion,she doesn't have any conscious at the consequences and she has stalkers who stalk her on facebook.

What do you think of this? She doesn't talk to me because I told her to be careful a year or two ago when she was dating a guy from the internet and now she dislikes me.

Adding $6.25 to the challenge

June 21st, 2009 at 09:16 am

I got $6.25 of change to put into my challenge. Now I have $230.52!

You know these days, I've been trying to figure out a way to get out of my negative thoughts. Life is not as bad as it seems, my parents may not be that great... I got some great friends who can make my life more better.

I didn't go shopping on the 19th, I figure I need to go out a few times and try to come up with an outfit with the things I have. That way, I will know what I am missing.

By the way, the wonderful news is... My very close friend and her little brother finally moved out of her abusive father house and she is now living with her mother whom she hasn't seen for three years. I am happy for her. When she was living with her dad, she couldn't do anything without his permission or she'll get beaten. Now her dad is going to try to change for the better.

Hitting the 20 mark

June 20th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

Today is the day that I turn 20 and I received a wonderful news from a very close friend of mine. Will tell you more about it later.

Thanks for those of you who cheer me up on my last post, I really appreciate it when you guys are here to listen to me. I needed you guys! =)

My birthday celebration was a blast! I thought it wouldn't be all that special but my friends made it special for me! Yay! Nothing really amazing happened on that day, just spending time with old friends. ^_^

I admit, I act like a kid from times to times but I noticed some changes in the way I think nowadays. Sometimes, I wonder why people doesn't feel comfortable talking me to me, I guess I don't bring anything good for them or I'm too goody goody and boring. I can't associated myself with studious people and I don't associated with rebellious people, I'm just plain normal. I do have a life outside of school and I got some bad experiences that would be funny to talk about or scandalous. A coworker once told a friend of hers that I was too into my studies and I never do anything risky in life. Well if I am going to start talking now about my life adventure, people will have a different vision about me. Then again, it's not worth losing the good image I have in order to gain attention... I mean, my future career could be a stake here if I decided to let the whole world know about my stupidity. I only tell probably one or two of my friends whom I trust and that is it.

In need of guidance in my life

June 18th, 2009 at 05:08 pm

Lately, I've been staying home and thinking about my life. I know I have to do something in my free time instead of going out and staying home not doing much.

Tomorrow and the day after will be the days where I'm going out to celebrate my birthday. Next Monday, I might go see my sister's graduation. This September, she's going to middle school next year.

Lately, I've been trying to find guidance in life... I feel a little lost. I always knew that I lack someone in life who can help me out, mainly parental guidance. My parents and I are really cold toward each others, we always argue. My parents act like kids and they always want to be right and they never admit they are wrong. Oh yeah, did I mention they never try to explain anything to us? As we get older, we aren't living in an obvious land anymore and they keep hiding things from us. I told my dad once that I am not a kid anymore and we aren't stupid if something is going wrong in the family or something, he still doesn't get it.

Part of the reason why I wanted to move out was the constant lack of communication between us, is it sacred or something? Even if I show them what I wrote, they will stay quiet for a little while and they will keep doing the same damn mistake again. I confront my dad a few times about him showing bad examples in the family, my parents just brush us off and wants us to admit our wrongs but not theirs. My brother once told my dad he was a bad father. It was harsh but it's the truth, I told my brother not to say anything like this again because it hurts.

My mom is not responsible herself, she is part of the reason why my dad's family is having problems and almost all my cousins despise her. Mind you, she can be evil. I can't blame her for not knowing between rights and wrongs, she does hold some understand of her own about the world... More accuratly than my dad. When someone anger my mother, she only sees the bad in that person and she acts irrationally. I used to be like her until someone pointed it out to me about it and I tried to control it. My mom is more like the type that she can do anything she wants as long there's someone who can back her up and she cares a lot about her reputation. When I went to China, she acts all superior and she talks like she's some wise person.

I guess I ressented my family a lot. My mom would put us through hell because she feels inferior to her coworkers, she would come home and starts screaming at us. My dad, I talked about him before. His favourite word on us is money. Just talking about my family, it just so troublesome.

If I didn't come to this website or go see adults to hear me talk about my family problems, who knows... I might stop school and do things like girls at my age are doing. These past few days, I've been showing signs of losing myself. I can't tell what I did but I feel the side effect, am I losing myself again?

Paycheck arrived

June 18th, 2009 at 04:10 pm

I finally got my paycheck and I earned $310.68. I took 40% of this paycheck toward my challenge money which is $124.27.

This amount is not much and I could've put 50% more. Since I'm going to rebuild my wardrobe with this money and pay some of my bills such as cellphone, bus card and more. I will decide if I will contribute more later. This percentage is what I am the more comfortable at.

My birthday is coming soon and 27 days of no shopping

June 16th, 2009 at 01:12 pm

I spend almost a month of no shopping and it's funny but I don't feel the need to shop as much as before. It's a good feeling... Probably because I didn't go out a lot these past few days. I'm still looking for clothes that are easy to mix and match. I got the basic down and I need more cardigans and jackets of all kind.

Last Saturday, I ask my coworker if she has taken anything from my donation. She said she loves everything, only the pants and a pair of boots are given to charity. I didn't know my clothes would be liked by her and her sister too! I guess I could've sell them but now it's too late. I learned my lesson. I'm glad that people like my taste... LOL

Before the 19th, I'm going to make a list of what I need after I look through my closet. After the 19th, I'm going to go shopping around. By the way, my birthday is on the 20th of June... I can't wait! I'm turning 20. On the eve of my birthday, I was thinking of eating and playing pool at a local bar with a couple of friends. The next day after work, I'm going to Old Montreal to walk around and to take picture.

Next year, I'm taking a semester off to go to China in May or somewhere close, I also have the time to see my friend in Switzerland, go to Japan and visit my godbrother in Singapore. The problems are the following, I don't know if I have enought money and time for all of this. I'm planning to study Mandarin for at least 4 months (Beijing three months and Shanghai one month), my dad probably wants me to visit many parts of China so he would probably sign me up on a tour bus and pay for it. I might visit Switzerland for two weeks or less around April to see a few of my friends whom I met in Vancouver almost four years ago. I want to go to Japan for maybe a week or two in April too. After Japan, I'm thinking of going directly there to China to Beijing or Shanghai. Singapore will be hard to fit in there. It's a bit difficult to guess now. xD My university entrance is in September so I'll be back on time next year. I have approximatly five months to travel. Going to Switzerland than going to Japan and after China, the distance is quite large.

For money, I have a mutual funds dedicated for my travel and I have around $7000 in there. I put money inside since I was 17, almost three years ago. The economy in Canada at the moment is not quite good and I lost around 1k or 2k in my mutual funds. The date where I can take out the money is on August 2009, about a month and a half from today. I'm planning not to touch it until next year, I hope the economy will get a bit better.

Sorry for my rambling a lot here, I guess what is important right now is to find ways to earn money. Speaking of money, I recently counted my piggy bank and I got $77.10 inside. I put all my change there for months now and I accumulated quite a lot. Since it's summer at the moment, I'm planning to pay %40 of my paycheck toward my travel and I'm going to try to earn money in other ways. I'm not good at doing other things then finding a job... ._." I'm not creative enought and I don't have an entrepreneur mind either. I guess for now, I'll probably help out my aunt at her store for extra money. I'm going to set the savings bar at $2000 now. I hope to save this amount this summer, if I can. lol

By the way, I add $22.90 from my bank to my savings. I have $100 now and $1900 to go.

22 days of no shopping!

June 11th, 2009 at 12:19 pm

It's my 22nd day of no shopping already!

The weather hasn't been great lately so I've spend most of the days staying at home and I didn't spend at all. My parents weren't happy that I sleep late and waking up late these past few days. My brother is taking summer school and I decided not to. At first, I wanted to take Algebra from 6 to 9 pm but when I think about it, the course will be much cheaper in the Fall semester. I guess I'm going to try to improve my languages in the summer instead.

Since I haven't been shopping lately,I went over my closet and I realized that 1/2 of the clothes I own, I barely touch because they are uncomfortable, does not flatter me and etc. The clothes I always wear always consist of things I felt good in and that are easy to mix and match. My coworker who is also my friend wanted me to give the unwanted items to her so she can pick what she likes and the rest, she'll donate to charity. In this case, I couldn't say no... I mean, I just need to walk 10 minutes to my workplace and hand her my things, then she'll take care the rest. Good enought for me. So yeah, I'm planning to renew my wardrobe with basic things and probably some vintage clothes... I'm thinking of visiting some thrift stores in Montreal this week or the next.

As for my challenge, I recently received my paycheck which is $190. Not a lot for you guys... But I work part-time so it was good enought for me. I paid my bus card with it and my phone bill. I'm stuck with $120 now... Since I'm not traveling this year and I'm left with 1/2 of my closet empty. I want to save for my Switzerland and China trip next year. Uuum... I wonder how I'm going to split the money. 20% of my paycheck goes toward it? I'll get back to you guys later about it.