I had a friend whom I know for 4 years now and she just graduated from High school. Since I first met her, she changed a lot. Usually people change for the better but she got worse lately.
Her love life is mess up, she dated a 22 or 23 years guy on the internet for 1 year and a half when she was 15 and they slept together whenever they see each other. She ditches him for a Spanish guy she met on the internet around her age and she never listens to anybody but him. She ditches the Spanish guy for a 21 years old guy from a rock band and they recently broke up.
She is 17 at the moment and she did some professional photoshoots where she poses in lingerie or she's naked with only her hair hiding her intimate part. I saw some of them from facebook and it's kinda disturbing to a see a 17 years old with a tiny body posing like that. She's a nice person overall but lately, she has been mess up. A coworker who was a close friend of her said that the last time she saw her, she was wearing belly top, short shorts and heels to go out. She also starts ditching her friends whom she's been hanging out with for years. I don't understand why but her old friends still stick by her side and they let her treat them this way.
I know that she has problems with her parents like me. She does whatever the heck she wants and she comes home very late. She also has been sleeping around lately from what I heard.
Is it still a teen thing? I am confused with her and she's a charismatic person, so I don't understand how she can do all of this. She's also very good in school. She has the rights to do whatever she wants but this is crazy. She said she has no morals and she hates it when someone is giving her the moral (when obviously, we are trying to tell her to be careful). In my opinion,she doesn't have any conscious at the consequences and she has stalkers who stalk her on facebook.
What do you think of this? She doesn't talk to me because I told her to be careful a year or two ago when she was dating a guy from the internet and now she dislikes me.
Troubled by a friend
June 23rd, 2009 at 05:44 pm
June 23rd, 2009 at 06:41 pm 1245778888
Is she possibly drinking or taking drugs that are altering her thinking?
Sad part is she (hopefully) will straignten out and meet mr right and will regret all this, and she can't take her actions back. But the good part is she can change her ways--but she has to want to.
If I were you (this is the mom in me talking) I would be her friend loyaly when she is acting as she should, and I would be distant when she isnt. This not only sends a message to her, but also helps protect your reputation.
Hopefully she is still in school??
June 23rd, 2009 at 06:45 pm 1245779139
Is she possibly drinking or taking drugs that are altering her thinking?
Sad part is she (hopefully) will straignten out and meet mr right and will regret all this, and she can't take her actions back. But the good part is she can change her ways--but she has to want to.
If I were you (this is the mom in me talking) I would be her friend loyaly when she is acting as she should, and I would be distant when she isnt. This not only sends a message to her, but also helps protect your reputation.
Hopefully she is still in school??
People think I am too strict because my girls can't date or get their drivers license until they are 17. (My friends sons can't date till they are 18). I also monitor their tv and phone and church activities are required. They can't even get on the internet unless I sign them on as they don't know the password. When they go out, I know who and where they are, and there is always a parent along. But, we have 4/5 with top grades, no one has gotten preg, and when their friends get into trouble they come to our house-which I take as a good sign!
June 23rd, 2009 at 06:48 pm 1245779314
She is going to College next year in Art. I stopped hanging out with her once I got out of High school and last year, I talked to her and she was giving me a bitchy attitude. I didn't do anything but to joke around with her like I always do.
June 23rd, 2009 at 06:50 pm 1245779433
June 23rd, 2009 at 07:52 pm 1245783128
As for what exactly it is that she's doing, it generally breaks down into two territories when a person acts like this: they're sowing their wild oats because they want to experience some different sides of life, or they're engaging in self-destructive behavior out of depression, anger, rebellion or something else. Only time will tell.
Either way, it's risky behavior. I was quite impulsive and wild in a lot of ways when I was younger; I was not at all trying to be self-destructive, but looking back some of my actions were risky to myself, and I'm lucky not to have had something really terrible happen to me. A few bad situations but nothing too tragic. Yet I know if someone had told me to stop because my lifestyle was risky, I probably wouldn't have listened. Far from self-destructive, I was just very open to experiences and didn't like to box myself into any one set of behaviors. No regrets, but I would never act that way now!
I hope your friend is just doing what I did and will grow out of it; unfortunately, it does sound like she's got some reasons to be self-destructive, which is inherently riskier because she may be subconsciously trying to get herself hurt.
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:45 pm 1245793531
And I'm sorry there is only so much that you can actually blame on your parents. I mean you can choose to rise above the issues holding you back in life or you can decide to let it keep you down. And you notice that most stories worth hearing about are the ones that people overcome their obstacles.
And like my grandma was told me, nevermind what other people are doing, it only matters that you yourself is doing the right thing. So with that, maybe you should just let her be. She'll do what she wants to do anyways, with or without anyone's permission.
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:59 pm 1245794369
Very dangerous, that, especially since she's basically jailbait
I am not sure what it is that you can actually do for her, because you probably don't have or can provide what she's supposedly looking for.
Best thing to do is to just be friends... from a distance.
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:20 pm 1245795624
June 24th, 2009 at 03:28 am 1245810505