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He doesn't trust me

January 13th, 2009 at 09:54 pm

It's official, I have the proof that my dad doesn't trust his own daughter. He opened my credit card enveloppe today and he dares to give me back open. What the hell...

I have made some big purchases last month and this month. I got the feeling he thinks I am in big debt or I'm stealing his money or something. When clearly, I saved for my money for a long time and I work really hard for my own money.

What's the matter? He doesn't want to communicate anymore. Then fine. He will eventually accused me of something in the future, that's what I am waiting for. Yes I spent a lot lately, the money which was supposed to be for the rent and everything. I spent them on clothes. Do I have a spending fever lately? Yes probably. Do I have a spending problem? No. Why do I buy so much clothes? Because I feel like it and I buy what I like.

Eventually, I have made some stupid purchases which I can return them. I probably spend that much to get rid of some feelings like being worthless in my family but that is temporary like usual.

I am getting back on the saving wagon by saving my recent tips and taxes money. I have 92.25$ on tax refund, I have 60$ on tips. All this for London. I have approximatle 7200$ in mutual funds and 630$ now in my bank account. I bought some things with my cousin today which will be pay back on the stupid purchases I made online.

I have... Canceled my beauty product online and I'm opting for the counter product so I am saving 48.90 every two months. My acne was never bad to start with after college. I am using spectrogel to clean my skin and I will eat more healthy by drinking more water and eating more fruits. I look through my closet and see what I can buy to add more flavors in my closet, with the recent purchases. I bought things such as two (black and brown) belts, a pair of skinny jeans and a blazer to complete my wardrobe. They are all discounts for 50% to 75% off. I do have concious but I need to work on controlling my spending.

I'm sorry if I failed on saving... Maybe I need to see someone because I felt like even my boyfriend has given up on me about my problems. Nobody to listen to me because they are busy with their life. I probably need a therapy session.

One thing for sure, I am not turning crazy. More like emotionally depressed right now. I do not regret most of my purchases but spending the money.

5 Responses to “He doesn't trust me ”

  1. whitestripe Says:

    i would be upset if my parents opened my credit card statements - you are an adult and if they want to know they shouldask you, not do it behind your back without your consent. its illegal to open someone elses mail, even if they are your daughter.

    you have to remember its ok to spend money on yourself. thats the whole point of money. or, its the way i look at it. i work hard, and i know you do. i dont mean that you should think 'i work hard so i can spend LOTS of money' or that you think you can spend money on your cc but not pay it back. which i know you won't do anyway, you seem to have a good moral compass and a level head on your shoulders.

  2. go.Xtina Says:

    I should get a personal box from the Canada Post office tomorrow. I really can't bear to have my dad trying to see what I am up to with my own money. I tried to apply the spend money on yourself sometimes but my parents are trying to control my spending because they are afraid of something. Probably I turn into a materialistic person.

    My dad is the type that doesn't respect anything. I have lost trust in him completly as of today. If he doesn't trust me on anything then I don't trust him on anything too. I tried and tried to talk it out with my dad but he just blocks me completly. One thing I don't get is he accused me of not trusting him when he, himself, doesn't trust me. Who the hell does he trust then? It seems that money plays such a big role on manipulating my brother and I. My mom just turns super aggressive on me when I tried to confront her too. This house is not my home anymore... I don't even feel like home... I feel more at ease outside of the house.

    Everyone in Hong Kong to Xiamen tell them to loosen up on us kids and let us have fun with money. My parents just call them crazy for saying that. Having traditional parents who refuse to change when the world around them is changing is really hard on my brother and me. They both live a very hypocrite life.

    As for the credit card, I pay them back once I charge it. I hate the idea of having an amount inside.

  3. North Georgia Gal Says:

    You seem to be a smart person. I am sure that you wouldn't spend more than you responsibly can. Until recently, I was very hard on my 15 year old son. I didn't want him to mess up the way I had(getting pregnant, dropping out of college, etc). But I finally realized that I was just pushing him away and it was more my control issues than anyting. Getting some sort of therapy is probably a very good idea. I do the same thing you do about shopping...although with my "in-the-middle-of-nowhere" address, it is not as easy to go overboard.

  4. mooshocker Says:

    I am a father. I love my three daughters. They are 12, 8 and 6. I would do anything for them. But I do worry a lot and could see myself inquring as to their finances when they get older.

    That said, mail is private. He must understand that if you have a problem, question or concern, you would go to him.

    Regarding spending, my only advice is to save today because you can't recapture these opportunities. Clothes and clothing stores will always exist, but time to save does not.

    Read a book on compounding interest and look at what even one year of not saving can do to your portfolio ten years from now.

    You are very intelligent and focused. Just re-evaluate and you will be fine. God bless.

  5. choystercash Says:

    It's true...remember to spend on yourself sometimes!!

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