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Emotional reasoning

November 22nd, 2008 at 09:04 am

It's my second posts of the day... Yeah. I am having a lot of depression lately. Probably thats why I feel useless somehow. Probably that's why I spend irrationally sometimes. Probably why I spend so much time on the computer listening to music. I just want to get out of this world.

My mom is cold with me, my dad is oversensitive about everything and my brother trying to put me down so he could feel better about himself. Worst of all, I feel like I don't have any worth in this family.

Last thursday, my mom took my sandals to my aunt. It's not the first time she does that to me so I was not happy about it. When I talked to my mom about it in a normal way (I was annoyed a little), my mom was super aggressive with me and accused me of being too oversensitive about it. I just want to tell her next time to just buy extra sandals for visitors, that way,I won't have any surprise... Meaning I won't find anyone with my sandals. She invents all sort of excuses as to why she can't buy an extra sandals for the visitors so I just gave up. I just told her that it's common sense that's all.

She did all sort of things to me in the past that hurt me so much. Even when I cry in front of her, she would just make things worst by telling my dad to yell at me again. I still remember two years or so ago, my aunt came over unexpectantly and slept on my bed with her son. When I came back from work and I was looking forward to sleep on my bed, I found my aunt on my bed and I learned that I have to sleep on the floor in the fourth floor. I just feel so insulted and I feel like someone whom she can toss around to make room for someone else. She just cares about her image. Even at her workplace, everybody hates her because she thinks she's all that and she tries to kick some people out of the business (My dad's brothers) by doing things behind their back.

I think I am moving out. I don't care about traveling as much anymore... Just staying in this house make me feel more depressed. My dad will probably act like a jerk again. Insulting me and everything. When he is being an ass, you can't reason with him...

3 Responses to “Emotional reasoning”

  1. gamecock43 Says:

    I'm sorry life is tough. you cant choose your family. I didnt get along with my mom much either and our relationship was better when there was distance between us...like 10 states between us. Mom suddenly missed me and we talked on the phone about gossip rather than each others annoying habits....see if you can find a friend to move in with. Living with someone your own age and going through life together is much more fun than living with people who have been there/ done that and are stressed because they have lived too much.

  2. Koppur Says:

    I'm so sorry you are having problems with your family. I wish there was something I could do to help. I suffer from very bad depression, but I luckily had family to rely on. Maybe some of your friends or their families can help out. Hang in there sunshine. I'll be sending positive thoughts you way. *hugs*

  3. fern Says:

    I'm really sorry to hear about your family life. I think it'd be best, too, if you had a friend you could rent a place with. When i got out of college (many moons ago), i started out just renting a room in a very nice house on Cape Cod. The woman who owned it was divorced and had a few bedrooms she rented to make some extra money. And we're still friends today. Altho i haven't seen her in like 15 years, i consider her one of my best friends.

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